So, today I had a big ol’ revelation: The people you love and to whom you are closest might never pick up on my bipolar at all. Worse, people won’t bother to try and learn what my symptoms or triggers are just because they care for me.
Now, to many suffering from a disorder, this probably won’t come as a surprise. Don’t get me wrong, I get it - there’s no ill intention there nor is it expected of anyone, so when someone does make that effort it means all the more. I realized one of my best friends has done just that, without ever really saying a word. He just takes note of let’s say my heightened speed of speech or increased activity during a manic phase so that he knows when a low might be incoming. These might not even be noticeable to most but they are a few of my biggest tells (as well as crazily scrubbing surfaces while crying or the inability to make my morning cuppa when things are really bad, but you wouldn’t know that unless you lived with me). Bipolar disorder doesn’t have an off switch, it's a constant affliction that fluctuates. So for someone to actively take note of these things is a HUGE deal.
The moment I realized what he’d been doing, I genuinely started to cry, even now while I write this, tears a brimming again. It’s one of the kindest, caring gestures someone could do for me and it has rarely happened. For someone to want to take that time, to want to understand me better, look out for me and love me is incredible. Honestly, he is the kind of friend I want to be for others. There are probably many more of my loved ones who tuck those kinds of tidbits away and keep an extra eye on me when it’s needed, and I just wanted to express my gratitude for that. To each of you, thank you thank you thank you for all the times you helped me without ever saying a word! As I said, this isn’t the ‘norm’ and I think it is important for us all to try our best to follow his example, I most certainly will be. Being a good friend means trying your best to support and help that person, and that should include learning about their triggers, symptoms and coping mechanisms.